Day 372 & Habit Formation Speed &

Day 372 Record Keeping
Day 341 Fixed Meditation (brought up neg emot to quell - HARD)
Day 287 Bodyweight Exercise (bridges - HARD)
Day 214 Writing (didn’t do - very difficult to summon up willpower)
Day 387 Eating = 75
Day 22 Dynamic Meditation = 70 (30 minutes)
Great sleep, great wakeup. Very sore. This is a good thing, a reflection of pushing my workout habit. Unfortunately my willpower was very depleted today.

Increased Speed of Habit Formation

Today I talked to Lydia about habit formation. This planning is working for her - she’s recording and flossing, and it seems to be really working for her. She mentioned that her flossing habit is almost a habit at 50 days, and her recording is almost a superhabit at 100 days.

I mentioned that my dynamic meditation is coming quite quickly, and I started to think about it in terms of what it would mean for a habit formula. It seems as though my ability to form habits is increasing (Time to Habituation), and the Grit Scale might just be used to represent that in an equation.

I’ve only taken it three times, but it might behoove me to take it every time I start and achieve a superhabit.

Dynamic Med Notes (30 minutes):

x5 fidgeting or almost fidgeting
x3 an arising of nervousness

Notes: Another spontaneous arising. Makes me think that doing it multiple times in a day will help foster that spontaneity

I had a cheat day and the sugar spike noticeably effectd my mental capacity to keep at a more relaxed level

metaphor: it feels like a solvent - the ability to take an incoming experience and detach that cohesion to my internal mental state.

Just like habit amnesia, I have a dynamic meditation amnesia with this - I’ll forget to observe my thoughts and prevent arisings. It can be very annoying when it doesn’t work out positively, but absorption is a case where I just forget everything and it prevents negative arisings.

Art of doing two things at once is important. It’s very difficult to focus on work and this. Or even watching a tv show and this. Doing three things is almost impossible - I’m hoping this will get to the point where it’s just automatic.

Day 369

Day 369 Record Keeping
Day 338 Fixed Meditation (brought up negativity, quelled it. HARD)
Day 284 Bodyweight Exercise (2X5 typewriter pushups - HARD)
Day 211 Writing (editing & submitting - HARD)
Day 384 Eating = 75
Day 141 Work = PAUSED
Day 19 Dynamic Meditation = 67 (1 hour)
Good sleep, good wakeup. Finally back after my three day hiatus after 1 full year of recording. Actually felt WORSE trying not to do these habits. Also ended up DOING several of the habits like meditation (fixed and dynamic) and writing. I’m focusing on making sure that every time I do a superhabit that I’m putting effort into it - hence the “HARD” in all bold next to several of them. I felt that I was entering a plateau on several so I’m pushing it. Looks like my work habit is on pause indefinitely. Which is great because it frees me up to work on my other habits - especially writing which needs to be kicked into higher gear. Also felt horrible in my eating the last couple days - it’s really the stick that has got my scores up in this - eating badly noticeably makes me feel horrible.

Dynamic Med Notes (1 hour):
x8 fidgeting
x2 negative arisings
Notes: I’ve boiled down my points as negative arising and fidgeting/shoulder rising. I think this might help clarify the points I need to work on.

Thinking about trying different tactics to prevent the arisings. Say, one day absorption, another day trying to imagine myself as a confident, worry free person (a la vajrayana), another day focusing on a state, another day practicing certain exercises. Not really too necessary now as it’s not even a habit, but something to think about in terms of regimenting the exercise in the future.

I Just Won National Novel Writing Month!!

This is the main reason I’ve been shaky in recording the last few days, and why my word count has jumped from a few 100 words to several thousands (13,000 per day the last few days). I ended up telling myself I wasn’t going to try it this year, and ended up starting on the 25th, finishing in a week.

My book was specifically on meditation and anxiety relief techniques - it has been something I’ve been working on, but I wanted to dedicate it to my mother, and other friends who have been having problems in this area.

I wanted the book to be simple and practical without any of the extreme esoteric nature that most meditation books have. The emphasis is on practicality.

It also gave me a place to really delve into techniques that I had read once and forgotten - I have gigs of videos and books, but many of the techniques were hidden in hours upon hours of recordings or pages. So it was a place to remind myself, and also a place to compile all the most effective ones.

It also gave me time to figure out a good implementation plan. I currently do fixed meditation, but I want to rotate the types of mental exercises in this established super habit in order to have a well equipped arsenal of techniques.

I also want to hone a progression for dynamic meditation - I tried this a long time ago to great success, but dropped it from my program because it was just too exhausting to do for the entire day.

In my book I describe a progression based on time - 20 minutes (in Tiny Habit form!) of just noting. And then either increasing times while doing techniques OR increasing time while countering one negative mental habit (like bodily stress) until it slowly encompasses the whole day.

This is exciting stuff - and I will continue to have to experiment with these to see which one works best. It is exciting because it is a practical progression to really changing the self, and in my mind, achieving something lasting.

Anyway despite the exhaustion and the missing recording, it was a fantastic experience, and I’m glad I did it.

Day 264 & Dynamic Meditation Revisited

Day 264 Record Keeping
Day 233 Fixed Meditation 
Day 179 Bodyweight Exercise  (3 bridges, 3 dragon lifts)
Day 106 Writing = 75 (139 words)
Day 279 Eating = 64
Day 36 Work = 67
Great sleep, ok wakeup. Still really sick but getting better. Dragon lifts are getting better - I’ve been using a dresser to walk up to get my middle and a bit of my upper back off the ground, which helps immensely in scaling to improve the exercise.

Dynamic Meditation Revisited
I’ve been recently talking to my mother about dynamic emotional control. She has a lot of anxiety issues and I see where I get it from. I’ve shown her methods to counteract it and she agrees with what I say about chronic anxiety. At one point I was showing her how much my week improved when I did it, and it really reminded me how much my life would change for the better if I were to really attack it again. I want to write down a course for her, and I think it would be a useful exercise to jot down on this blog for other people who might have anxiety.

Last night I had a rather stressful situation, and I managed to respond with the best part of myself from a position of strength and confidence. It was hard. I wanted to be petulant and angry and lash out like a child. I also wanted to do what I normally do, which is close off in wounded hurt silence.

Instead I managed to navigate the two extremes - calmly expressing my point of view. I couldn’t have done this with lip service - just mouthing the proper words and still being angry - I had to be calm through and through.

Doing this was a definitive improvement to what I would have done just a short 260 some odd days ago - a milestone in improvement. It was a sign that my meditation practices ARE indeed doing something.

I still believe that going back and tackling dynamic meditation as a habit would be ground breaking - as I told my mom, it will utterly change your life.

It’s times like these that I’m reminded at how many things I want to do, and how many of them are foundational. Personal finances, working on a personal learning slot, working on the craft of writing, and even something as simple as being an early morning person in order to get a faster start in the day. All of these things would boost everything.

That old feeling of doing everything at once rises up. But I’ve reaped many rewards by doing exactly the opposite - and the feelings subside. I’ll get around to all of those things - and conquer them - all in their due time.

Day 186 and Scaling Meditation

Day 186 Record Keeping 
Day 154 Fixed Meditation 
Day 100 Bodyweight Exercise  (3x8 burpees with 3 knee slappers)
Day 27 Writing = 45
Day 200 Eating = 72
Good sleep, good wakeup. 

Scaling Meditation

Still feeling deeply shaken by reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha. It really threw me off mentally. But at the same time I’m beginning to see a glimmer of a path through the problem of scaling meditation. 

I have been thinking about this a lot - is meditation just something that I do or is there a way to improve and push the skill. I think the latter. If so, do I scale it up by simply increasing time? Do I let it flow into dynamic meditation?

I think this book and its associated forum might have some of the answers I’m looking for.

Day 72, Stopping Dynamic Meditation, Starting Walking

Day 72 Record Keeping SRHI = 61
Day 40 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 72
Day 39 Dynamic Meditation SRHI
Day 1 Walking SRHI=12
OK sleep, great wakeup.
At this point, my dynamic meditation will require more than what I can do. It rose sharply, then fluttered on and off - I don’t seem to have a focused way to get more data out of it at the moment, so I’m continuing on with my next habit with the intention of coming back to dynamic meditation as an extension of fixed meditation in the future. I am keeping my data just to compare it to any other “continual” habits I might wish to pursue later.
Today was my first day - I walked to the beach and back - I probably walked about an hour - and that’s about where I want it to stay as a habit.

Day 71 & Dithering

Day 71 Record Keeping SRHI = 64
Day 39 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 74
Day 38 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 51
Good night sleep, good wakeup.

I’ve really been dithering around with dynamic meditation. It has seemed to just be stuck in this middle spot - slightly failing, slightly rising in terms of the SRHI.

I had originally thought of this project as one step in mastering a skill. A habit does not equal mastery - at some point you have to push past the barriers of complacency to get really good. And many skills have this two stage step up - first make the habit, then push. So maybe fixed meditation is the only thing I need right now, and the next step, later on, is equanimity at all times.

I’m still debating it, but it might be time to set this aside, and focus on the next habit, with a plan to revisit this one.

Day 70 & Supercharging Habits in the Morning

Day 70 Record Keeping SRHI = 63
Day 38 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 73
Day 37 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 56
Good night sleep, great wakeup.

I’ve noticed that my fixed meditation habit has seemed to get a supercharge - The numbers are high despite the fact, in terms of length of time, it’s a younger habit than record keeping.

When I first started the fixed meditation habit, I would get up, get ready for the day, and then read a meditation script on my computer. That started from when I worked in a work space, and I didn’t want to close my eyes or zone out and have co-workers notice me.

A few weeks ago I transitioned from that to meditating in bed when I was just awake and before I had gotten up. There have been times where I begin the mental sequence in the haze between slumber and being fully cognizant. And last night, I dreamt of myself in a panic because I had forgotten to meditate - so when I woke up I felt relief.

This kickstarted something - when I answer the SRHI I get a huge boost in scores from the automaticity aspects. And today I got a gentle rise in “feeling weird if I don’t do it” questions. And aside from the pure score, it feels, overall, more a part of me.

There is a danger here in being too fragmented with the SRHI. As Dr. Vanderplanken stated (I write about it in THIS post) the index is meant to be holistic. ALL of the features make up a habit, not just individual sections.

But morning repetition seems to increase several elements: automaticity, identity, and feelings about not doing the task.

So the question is - does doing a fixed habit upon awakening (NOT arising) ingrain a habit faster?  And how should I use this in terms of multiple habits? Do some older habits need to be “charged”? For example, I notice my record keeping seems to be fading a bit - I have to consciously force myself at times to do the habit - to get it back up to snuff should I have my computer by my bed and start recording things while I’m still a bit hazy? This is something I will have to experiment with….

Day 69 & The New Science or Great Articles on Tinkering

Day 69 Record Keeping SRHI = 68
Day 37 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 67
Day 36 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 53
Horrible night sleep, great wakeup.

I recently read two amazing articles. One, entitled “The End of Food” by Lizzie Widdicombe, published in the May 2014 issue of The New Yorker, talks about the rise of Soylent, a company whose product is a full meal replacement.

The other, “The Shiver System” by Steven Leckart, published in the December 2013 issue of Wired, talks about a guy who became fascinated with the impact of cold submersions on weight loss.

Why do I find the two fascinating? They both talk about people who are essentially tinkerers. Neither were formally educated in their respective new fields - but both dove into finding everything they could about it outside of academia. 

This reminds me of the natural philosophers of old - amateurs that operated past the frontiers of science - and for many, like these two, the emphasis is a personal take.

Years ago a relative, upon learning about my fascination with the mind-body connection, asked why I didn’t go study neurobiology. I couldn’t quite put it into words, put if I were to tell her today, I’d tell her because what I find interesting is researching these subjects on a personal level. 

Sure there is worth in studying such a subject objectively - but I want to know how an individual can harness it. Now, more and more this approach has been coming to the fore - books like The Four Hour Body and Moonwalking with Einstein took the ideals of the old human potential movement and ran.

With the internet, huge resources are suddenly available, both in terms of research, the sharing of individual experimentation, and replicability. The guys doing these things often spawn movements - Soylent has DIY fans that tinker with recipes for meal replacement, as did the guy written about in “The Shiver System.” Sub-forums on Reddit often join in, tweaking theories and expanding them, and then reporting back - like crowdsourced empiricism.

Yet this new science isn’t really new. Science was founded by tinkerers - men like Leonardo da Vinci and Darwin - the “natural philosophers” - were here before the formalization, constantly fiddling. And with the power of the web, adding scientific procedures to personal experimentation, logging failures and successes and extrapolating theories, this new science, I feel, is able to push boundaries that can be curtailed by formal study and institutions. 

Whatever this is - new or old - this is a movement I want my habit formation project to be a part of.

Day 64

Day 64 Record Keeping SRHI = 67
Day 32 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 69
Day 31 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 62
Bad night sleep, ok wakeup.

There was a moment yesterday, when reading, I started thinking about work and my obligations, and as soon as I started feeling tension, I completely automatically relaxed myself. THAT’S what I’m looking for with dynamic meditation!

I’ve been lazy, and I haven’t been recording my instances. Something in me feels this isn’t the best way to do it, even though I did have practical results in the past. But pretending like I’m going to record things, noting down the instances has surprisingly had an effect. This is definitely something I’ll have to fiddle around with.

Day 62

Day 62 Record Keeping SRHI = 67
Day 30 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 68
Day 29 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 58
Bad night sleep, bleary wakeup.

Yesterday I was lazy with Dynamic Meditation - instead of noting things down, I ended up just mentally noting as though I were going to note things down later. It worked pretty well - I was able to really focus on relaxing through stress (I had an assignment due so yesterday was a bit stressful). 

I also asked the folks over at The Tad Principle for tips on maintaining mindfulness throughout the day. They had some great suggestions, including doing a focused, brief meditation session every hour and wearing a reminder bracelet. 

This last thing was great - because I really do feel for things like tension, it’s not so much an event that rears its head - I’m so conditioned to be tense that I really do have to remember to feel myself, notice I’m tense, and then relax.

I was also finally able to get into a mentality of choosing to be relaxed and happy like I did in the first week - there was a specific sensation of cheating at life. And when I get into that, I often start giggling. That sensation is really what I’m looking for. Maybe I can more accurately gauge this by writing down the number of times I get into that frame of mind, since it seems to encapsulate the positivity I’m trying to bring into my life.

Day 58 & What Should I Work on Next?

Day 58 Record Keeping SRHI = 72
Day 26 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 63
Day 25 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 49
Good sleep, good wakeup.

Well, I had theorized that my record keeping habit would take about 60 day, and judging from my high score today, it’s right about there. My fixed meditation is very strong, so it’s about time for me to add another habit.

The question is, what will it be? I am very eager to start some sort of workout plan. My eating habit is going well, but this next month, the third month, is usually when it all falls a part. My dynamic meditation, which I’ve said is the most important thing I could ever do, is still very very weak.

Steven Pressfield in his book Do The Work, talks about procrastination as a compass pointing you exactly to the places you need work. When I look inside myself, I want to do an exercise habit, I want to do so many, but I don’t want to work on this Dynamic Meditation. This is a pretty good indicator that that’s exactly what I should do.

Day 56 & Stalled Habits

Day 56 Record Keeping SRHI = 61
Day 24 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 60
Day 23 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 48
Great night sleep, great wakeup.

It might be time to revisit my old theories on willpower and it’s effects on habit formation. Dynamic Meditation definitely requires a lot of willpower - it’s something I have to exert throughout the day.

My theory was originally that the more Willpower an action takes, the more Endurance (Endurance being WIllpower over time) it will take, and once your stores of Endurance run out the habit stops forming. I was originally thinking regarding actually completing the habit.

But in this case it’s more than that - it’s about maintaining the vigilance throughout the day and actually accomplishing the habit in a rigorous manner constantly that would contribute to automaticity. In this case, I’m doing Dynamic Meditation halfway, so the habit is stalling - something you can see in the day-to-day numbers.

And this doesn’t bode well for my future posture habit. It seems as though the strain of constant vigilance needs special handling. So doing two habits at once was definitely not a good idea.

Day 55

Day 55 Record Keeping SRHI = 65
Day 23 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 60
Day 22 Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 38
Decent night sleep, great wakeup

Dynamic meditation continues to plummet. Two things I might start doing. One, recording all my instances, which is somewhat of a hassle, but did produce great results on the first day. Or, I might try meditating briefly every hour. I think I will do the latter today just to do something different.