Day 264 Record Keeping
Day 233 Fixed Meditation
Day 179 Bodyweight Exercise (3 bridges, 3 dragon lifts)
Day 106 Writing = 75 (139 words)
Day 279 Eating = 64
Day 36 Work = 67
Great sleep, ok wakeup. Still really sick but getting better. Dragon lifts are getting better - I’ve been using a dresser to walk up to get my middle and a bit of my upper back off the ground, which helps immensely in scaling to improve the exercise.
Dynamic Meditation Revisited
I’ve been recently talking to my mother about dynamic emotional control. She has a lot of anxiety issues and I see where I get it from. I’ve shown her methods to counteract it and she agrees with what I say about chronic anxiety. At one point I was showing her how much my week improved when I did it, and it really reminded me how much my life would change for the better if I were to really attack it again. I want to write down a course for her, and I think it would be a useful exercise to jot down on this blog for other people who might have anxiety.
Last night I had a rather stressful situation, and I managed to respond with the best part of myself from a position of strength and confidence. It was hard. I wanted to be petulant and angry and lash out like a child. I also wanted to do what I normally do, which is close off in wounded hurt silence.
Instead I managed to navigate the two extremes - calmly expressing my point of view. I couldn’t have done this with lip service - just mouthing the proper words and still being angry - I had to be calm through and through.
Doing this was a definitive improvement to what I would have done just a short 260 some odd days ago - a milestone in improvement. It was a sign that my meditation practices ARE indeed doing something.
I still believe that going back and tackling dynamic meditation as a habit would be ground breaking - as I told my mom, it will utterly change your life.
It’s times like these that I’m reminded at how many things I want to do, and how many of them are foundational. Personal finances, working on a personal learning slot, working on the craft of writing, and even something as simple as being an early morning person in order to get a faster start in the day. All of these things would boost everything.
That old feeling of doing everything at once rises up. But I’ve reaped many rewards by doing exactly the opposite - and the feelings subside. I’ll get around to all of those things - and conquer them - all in their due time.