Day 1155 & A Thousand Days of Writing!

Day 1155 Record Keeping
Day 1127 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 1001 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 541 Rowing (rowing, 30 min/4100 m)
Day 282 Mobility/Stretching (10 min, hip stretch & back smash)
—
Early to Rise
Day 310 Sleep Recording  (1|3|10:30|1:20)
Day 281 Bedtime Curfew 
Day 119 Wakeup Alarm
–
Good sleep. Exhausted and depleted today. Passed 1,000 Days of Writing!!!! My writing habit may have gone through its ups and downs (and I definitely messed up and didn’t do it today) but I’m still going for it. 

Day 1153

Day 1153 Record Keeping
Weekend Habits
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Eating Habits
Day 41 Meal Prep Sunday (VERY fast, back on track)
—
Early to Rise
Day 308 Sleep Recording  (3:30|1:30|2)
Day 279 Bedtime Curfew (DID NOT DO)
Day 117 Wakeup Alarm 
–
Good sleep. Very tired, very depressed. I’m guessing this has more to do with the remnants of jet lag than anything else. Despite the emotions, Sunday Meal Prep occurred like clockwork. 

Day 1151

Day 1151 Record Keeping
Day 1123 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 997 Writing (a LONG time - deadline)
Day 537 Rowing (rowing, 30 min/4200 m)
Day 278 Mobility/Stretching (10 min, hip stretch & back smash)
—
Early to Rise
Day 306 Sleep Recording  (12|12:30|11:30|12:40)
Day 277 Bedtime Curfew
Day 115 Wakeup Alarm
–
Great sleep. Long sleep, perhaps because completed jet lag and adapting to different time from travel. Depressed. Difficult but ultimately good day - and week. Mission successfully completed, I think I’m finally back on schedule.

Day 1150

Day 1150 Record Keeping
Day 1122 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 996 Writing (5 rounds/15 min)
Day 536 Rowing (rowing, 30 min/4200 m)
Day 277 Mobility/Stretching (10 min, hip stretch & back smash)
—
Early to Rise
Day 305 Sleep Recording  (5:40|10:30|1)
Day 276 Bedtime Curfew (DID NOT DO)
Day 114 Wakeup Alarm
–
Great sleep. Inverted habit sequence really worked. Excellent work with writing today.

Day 1149 & Reversing Habit Sequence Protocol for an Improper Discharge of One Behavior

Day 1149 Record Keeping
Day 1121 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 995 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 535 Rowing (rowing, 30 min)
Day 276 Mobility/Stretching (10 min, hip stretch & back smash)
—
Early to Rise
Day 304 Sleep Recording  (4:30|11:30)
Day 275 Bedtime Curfew (DID NOT DO)
Day 113 Wakeup Alarm (DID NOT DO)
–
Great sleep.

Reversing Habit Sequence Protocol for an Improper Discharge of One Behavior
I’ve really got to learn how to write titles… 

Over the last week I’ve had to do a particularly painful task in my writing habit for work. I usually write at the very beginning of the day - theoretically I have the most willpower, so I should be able to go through the pain that writing brings. And that usually works, because on any given day writing is the most painful thing.

However, the last few days I’ve woken up, come up to my writing, and it’s smacked me right down - I don’t even begin. And because I don’t begin, none of my other habits discharge.

This has happened before. The only time I’ve been able to get around it in some capacity is during this last NaNoWriMo, where I was incredibly proud to have not only gone above and beyond in writing, but I DID ALL MY OTHER HABITS. 

That’s huge. Think about it - we almost always as a society give a PASS to people who are are challenging themselves. Of course students are going to eat crappy and sleep at odd hours while cramming for a test. But that’s far from the ideal.

What did I do different? During NaNoWriMo I reversed the order of my habits. This was initially done because of time - busting out 20,000 words a day takes a long time even if you’re not dawdling. So, I got everything else done quickly, then hit the word processor in order to have the most time as possible.

While I believe that saving willpower for the hardest task of the day is sound, it’s only if that task doesn’t hit some sort of as yet unspecified line. And that line seems to have something to do specifically with pushing an already established habit. I’ve not only noticed this with writing, but also with doing a particularly challenging HIIT sequence when I’m being run ragged.

In these cases it seems better to reverse the sequence in order to get a rhythm of doing things in order to develop a flow and an inertia - you’re getting small things out of the way, gaining small victories in order to hit the main event. And perhaps that factor of flow might, in certain cases, work as a lubricating variable despite having less willpower.

I’m unconvinced as to the theory of when and why I need to use it, and I’d like to fiddle around with it more. Today when I attempted this reversal I still procrastinated on my hard task, but it felt like less of a barrier than previous days. AND I did all of my other habits, so all things being equal I got a ton more done today - it’s already a huge difference.

I still don’t think this protocol is quite nailed down, but I’m still playing around with other solutions, 

Day 1148

Day 1148 Record Keeping
Day 1120 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 994 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 534 Rowing (DID NOT DO)
Day 275 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
—
Early to Rise
Day 303 Sleep Recording  (4:30|5:30|2)
Day 274 Bedtime Curfew (DID NOT DO)
Day 112 Wakeup Alarm
–
Great sleep. Horrendous showing today, but I guess that’s what this week is for. Had severe problems discharging any habits, mostly because I was afraid and blocked by my very first habit - writing. This problem happens way too often for no good reason, so I think there should be some sort of protocol or discussion for this.

DAY 1147 & Back from the States

Day 1147 Record Keeping
Day 1119 Fixed Meditation (30 min)
Day 993 Writing (1 round/30 min)
Day 533 Rowing (DID NOT DO)
Day 274 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
—
Early to Rise
Day 302 Sleep Recording  (1|2:30|9|1)
Day 273 Bedtime Curfew
Day 111 Wakeup Alarm
Day 28 Wakeup Walk 22
–
Great sleep. Nixing my Wakeup Walk habit for now. This has got to be a record for the shortest habit!

Back from the States
I had a fantastic time going back to the States for my 20 year high school reunion. I left on March 25th after sort’ve unsteady routines due to having a guest. I got back last week on April 12th after a mammoth flight back - What ended up being 5 flights, 6 if you count being rerouted to San Antonio due to a storm and only getting to Austin after sitting on the tarmac for 3 hours. Then a separation due to an overbooking on our last flight, which delayed getting back to the homestead for about 2 hours. And they lost Lydia’s bags! 

After all that, I was pretty down - I felt like I hadn’t done anything. But the more I look over things the more impressed at how much I’ve improved. The stoics about hedonistic adaptation - the more you get used to pleasurable things the more you expect them in your life. Well this is self improvement adaptation. The more you improve the less you notice your own improvement. You have to force yourself to recognize your successes.

I meditated a lot. I usually went to bed early, and even kept recording my stats for the week and a half I was in Houston even though I wasn’t recording anything formally. I did partial cookups every Sunday, going to the store and getting bags of salad and veggies to throw together for lunches during the week. I went on walks, did an instance of kettlebell swings, and went kayaking. I worked a bit and didn’t do any mobilizing. I did not record.

But man - that’s a lot for a jam packed couple of weeks split between two states. And what’s even better? I’m already starting up again and it’s been less than a week. It usually takes me a full week or 2 to get back to even thinking about starting up everything again.

My plan now is to just to stabilize my habits. I’m down to my daily minimums, and I’m not going to do my morning walking (big mistake starting that the week I was leaving, hehe). I have a long time of stability with no trips planned, so I can really hunker down and experiment, test, and add new habits. Jet lag has been horrible, and I had an immensely trying day emotionally today - but that’s to be expected these first few weeks back. Right on cue.

The Truth About Affirmations | Exploring The Mind! →

I always thought affirmations might be complete bunk. I did however experiment briefly with them and had a good experience. The problem was that I never really found a good way of measuring whether or not they succeeded or not other than general feelings. It looks like there are at least a few studies done on them. And some, like this one, have surprising results.

Day 1120

Day 1120 Record Keeping
Day 1092 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 966 Writing (A LOT)
Day 506 Rowing (walked, 1.5 hours)
Day 247 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
—
Early to Rise
Day 275 Sleep Recording  (12|(5:30-7:30)11:30|1:20|)
Day 246 Bedtime Curfew
Day 84 Wakeup Alarm
Day 1 Wakeup Walk 22
–
Horrendous sleep, horrible wakeup. Very very upset this morning because of bad sleep. The morning walk turned it around and was very enjoyable. I’m pretty sure the sleep had more to do with the timing of when I drank tea (which was a few hours before bed), as I had to get up several times to go the bathroom. Add that to the list of variables to test. Really busy with work hence the lack of the habits that failed to discharge. 

Formalizing Wakeup Walk

Implementation Intention: As soon as I get up I’ll put my clothes on, grab my coffee thermos and notebook, and walk around the block or to the pier. I’ll drink my coffee, and plan my day and do emotional control meditation to positively flip my mood. This meditation will be separate from my formal vipassana/samatha sit.

Tiny Habit and Step Ups: Daily minimum will be once around the block in the sun. Will always attempt emotional meditation, and will include planning, though I think all of it is a Tiny Habit that will not require a step up.

Mental Contrasting:
1) Positive Aspects
The idea of starting my day out on a good note is rather foreign to me - all too often I get up in a pretty bad mood, feeling as though I’m already behind on the day. I think a positive vibe is really important - I usually come back feeling amazing. I think it has many side benefits - potentially better sleep, not feeling like a total shut in, feeling like I’m a part of this city and not a useless habit hamster, and it makes me more likely to get out later in the day rather than feeling scared and wanting to hide. I feel that it energizes me. And it’s something that can replace my failed attempt at getting excited at waking up via my “bacon and water” habit. I also think it will dissuade me from late nights or drinking or eating badly the night before and tie me to a better family of habits. I want to tie myself to great mornings rather than great nights, which will in turn help push me towards a better night time ritual and hopefully better sleep.

2) Obstacles
Rain. I hate going outside in the rain. The first rainy day is not going to be fun. I can counter that by getting a good rain coat in the States when I’m back - I had a great one that was light weight and made me utterly comfortable in bad weather, but I have no idea where it went. I finally got good shoes that are more waterproof - now all I need is more socks. Luckily these are all things easily solved by a few relatively cheap purchases.

Day 1119 & Return from Self Care Vacay

Day 1119 Record Keeping
Day 1091 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 965 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 505 Rowing (walked, about 2 hours)
Day 246 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
—
Eating (from yesterday)
Day 36 Sunday Meal Prep 80 SUPERHABIT
—
Early to Rise
Day 274 Sleep Recording  (1|9:30|11)
Day 245 Bedtime Curfew
Day 83 Wakeup Alarm
–
Good sleep, good wakeup. Superhabit for Meal Prep Sunday - no longer recording SRHI.

Return from Self Care Vacation
About two weeks ago I posted how I really needed a break. A combination of just horrible nights of sleep and emotional turbulence. The break was initially supposed to only last a week and then I was going to see. After the first week I realized that I was just starting to get the hang of relaxing. 

Because, for me, relaxation has to be structured. If I melt in my couch and surf the internet I end up not doing anything, which is actually a lot less relaxing and positively boosting then sticking a schedule where I get out, go for a walk, do something creative, learn something, etc. And even then it was hard.

The first thing I realized is that I need to nail my sleep down. The other thing is that I need to get outside and brighten my mood to start the day off right. And those are the two things I’ll focus on implementing next. 

I don’t have the scale I need to judge sleep experiments nailed down quite yet. And, of course today is the day when guests are coming back AND I’m traveling to the States for two weeks at the end of the week. This obviously isn’t the best time to formalize both new habits, nor push the ones I have. 

While it seems that things are really scattered, I have, in the past week, continued to meditate, to get out and walk, set my wakeup alarm, and gone to sleep earlier. I automatically completed two meal prep sundays, such that it is now a superhabit. And I successfully completed my Gotham writing course! These are Good Things.

The next few weeks I will focus on getting all my habits at their minimums and I’ll try my best to go for a walk in the morning (which is easy since I like it and it’s fantastic weather) and work on my sleep scale.

Week Off

The last several weeks have been pretty horrible. A tangled web of bad sleep, low energy, low willpower, and an immense amount of depression have forced me to admit I need some time off. 

If it was any one thing, I think I could work through it. But lack of sleep prevents me from either getting things done promptly or getting up with enough time to get out. This is especially problematic since I think a part of the reason I’m having such issues is due to the lack of sunlight in my apartment.

My HIIT progression has made me quite exhausted, but not as much so as all I’ve been doing to learn about book publishing. And although I have a lot of specific experiments to figure out my sleeping problem and breaking through my depression through pushing meditation, it’s a lot. 

Sleep looks like it will require a metric that incorporates a sleep scale (sleep efficiency and sleep quality) in order to test out specific variables. Depression will involve a modified form of my old dynamic meditation. Both involve extra recording. And I still have my Gotham course, writing assignments, and a looming trip back home.

So, I’m going to do a bit of self care. Today I walked around in the sun, watched stupid tv, and read and learned about random things I’ve been pushing off that have nothing to do with work.

I just finished reading Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. One of the points that stuck with me was the importance placed on actions in the off time - how to stop thinking about work and how to take off in order to come back with renewed vigor. I acknowledge its importance but I absolutely HATE the idea of taking off. Time is a-wastin’, and I always feel like I should have mastered half of this stuff years ago - I’m way too impatient to begin more advanced practices.

But, now, at the end of my first day off, I’m already feeling incredibly relaxed. The delta change is incredible, enough to make me think that Cal’s on to something here.