Day 183 Record Keeping
Day 151 Fixed Meditation
Day 97 Bodyweight Exercise (3 bridges, 15 sec 1-hand, 1-arm planks)
Day 24 Writing = 49
Day 197 Eating = 67
Great sleep, incredibly bleary wakeup. Still restless at night. Lacking willpower in bodyweight training.

Restlessness and the Dangers of Endurance REpletion

IN this post I talked about the importance of noting adjectives during this whole process. To continue on that trend, during the last couple of days I’ve experienced immense restlessness right before going to bed. I think it’s interesting and can better help describe the beast called endurance. I think I’ve been focusing too much on defining endurance and less on how endurance acts in the context of this project.

When I’m endurance depleted, like last week, I tend to be irritable, depressed, and physically and emotionally tired. I feel like there’s a void that needs to be filled. A pressure that’s about to break, and it does break in various actions.

But at the beginning of this week I dropped a bunch of scheduled actions, and felt I was in a state of endurance REpletion. A “sand bag” effect occurred.

I feel happier more constantly. Lighter. Breezier. I have more concentration at my disposal. More willpower.

But at nights I get restless (and this started from the first day). And it’s the restlessness of too much energy - like I should do something more. I have the urge to start another project - I call this Andrew Syndrome, after a friend that always wants to start another project without mastering the first. This too is a void needing to be filled - but it’s more one of boredom.

This is equally as bad, because like my friend Andrew going after a new project, it can result in the total collapse of continued slow, steady progress in previous tasks - which is the point of this whole project.

So what should I do? I think one option is to increase the difficulty of current tasks. But I don’t really find myself having an excess of energy during the day. And I’m kind’ve hesitant when it comes to doing more at night when I have tons of restless energy - thought this might work when it comes to bodyweight training. It’s an option.

Another option is to do something that I feel is productive, but one I’m not going to pursue definitively over long term just quite yet. I think some Khan Academy classes might work - when I experienced something like this before I started an art history course. It’s great because there is no time limit and I can go at my own pace - so I can pick it up and drop it when I want. And it has nothing to do with my current goals - it’s something totally different.