Day 362 Record Keeping
Day 331 Fixed Meditation
Day 277 Bodyweight Exercise (3 bridges)
Day 204 Writing (editing and a little writing…not my best work)
Day 377 Eating = 75
Day 134 Work = 63
Day 12 Dynamic Meditation = 60 (1 hr 30 min)
Great sleep, great wakeup.
Dynamic Med Notes (1hr 30 min):
-X4 finger flicking
-x7 arising of worry
-x2 teeth clenching
-x1deep breathing dissatisfaction with the moment
-x1 tremor of worry
-x4 laughing almost a forgetting in itself
-doing more than two things at once pulls at my conscious too much - work/chatting/meditating/listening to music - I just can’t concentrate on the quality of my mind
-There are layers of this arising of negativity. There is the emotion itself - both falling into it, and noticing it. Underneath it is a crystalizing - when it is coming together. There’s also a more nebulous level beneath - the groundwork for that crystallization. I noticed that level a lot today. That is the closest I’ve felt the arising closest to its generation. It’s also the first arising I’ve felt in discrete layers - embryonic level is the moment I’m really targeting.
-I was able to go longer today, and there was more of an amused feeling when observing the constant (and now quite predictable in terms of particulars) arisings, rather than it being bothersome. There were more subtleties - tremors in the mind rather than outright manifestations. I practiced absorption as a way to eject the arisings, and that worked for a while on projects that weren’t so closely tied to worry - a part of this process seems to be teasing those threads apart and reducing tasks to discrete component parts. Towards the end the concentration just fell a part. But I was able to use chakra flexion to surge a feeling of joy. A very interesting practice today.