Day 32


Good night sleep, bleary wakeup, but woke up early.

Meditation Protocol

Here’s what I’m going to do for my next habit. I’m going to have one session of fixed meditation practice. During this daily session I will use techniques that will bring up negative emotions and then transform them. That technique is basically the cornerstone of my practice.

I need to have a secondary record kept of how many times I directly deal with Anxiety, Fear, Depression, and Guilt. Anxiety will be dealt with by immediately relaxing. Fear by decisively facing it down (if I’m afraid of writing, I start the task immediately - I don’t have to finish it, but I have to start it) and with Depression I immediately do the aforementioned technique. For Guilt it’s an immediate response for relaxation and happiness I’m looking for as a cure.

There are a lot of moving parts here. And the fear thing is especially painfully difficult for me. And I’m sure I’ll modify this as it proceeds.

As for record keeping I’ll do the fixed meditation as normal. For the rest of the daily occurrences I’m going to record how many and what kind. I don’t know yet if I’m going to do particulars i.e. 2 times for Guilt, 3 times for Fear, etc. I’m going to try to note it down because I think a record will help build confidence for the act in the future. I’m going to attempt to use a modified version of the SRHI index omitting frequency, since the point is that it becomes so frequent that it becomes second nature - and hopefully it becomes so smooth that I don’t actually have to do it. Therefore the number of instances would not be indicative of true progress - true progress would just be an anxiety, depression, guilt, and fear free individual.