Day 139 End of Low Carb Flu & Depression

Day 139 Record Keeping SRHI = 74
Day 107 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 78
Day 53 Burpee SRHI= 70 (1x8)
Day 153 Eating SRHI = 47  
Good sleep, bleary wakeup. Depressed last night, depressed in the morning.

End of Low Carb Flu

I think the “flu” symptoms disappeared yesterday or the day before. I made an effort to drink more fluids, eat more fat, and drink broth. I guess I sort’ve second guess myself with things like this. The first time I went through this it lasted almost an entire week, so I’ve been worried that perhaps my diet isn’t as strict. 

My intake of cheese is more - I just got a Provoletera plate from my visit to Argentina - in the past I haven’t notice much of an adverse reaction to cheese, but I’m tapering that down now. 

In the first week I’ve wanted to go to the local bar and have a beer and some of their snacks. I quit that after a few days, but I’ve been drinking a bit more than my daily allotment of two glasses of wine a night. In fact, I haven’t been drinking wine - the wine here is a bit expensive and it’s often easier to grab beer - but it’s something I’m going to change. 

I’m not going insane with drinking or anything, but I’d like to drink more water, and it’s easier to control with wine. I think that, along with my depression, it and my control of food has more to do with this place in my life.

I’ve just got back from fast paced travels, and it’s cold and silent here - I don’t really have many friends. I’m also moving to Barcelona in a month, and the change - the potential to do a lot there, is scary. 

I feel caught in a place where I don’t have enough time to do much here, scared about moving and the potential of failing to do more there, and the drudgery of this project. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much, and because of that I self sabotage. I feel like all the success I had in the beginning of the eating project - the weight shed, the tightening of 6 notches in my belt - that that progress isn’t happening anymore.

If I breathe and take a step back, I have to understand that this is the same feeling I felt during danger zones in other habits. That dangerous cocktail of antsy-ness, depression, impatience, frustration, and hopelessness that heralded giving up on so many projects in the past.

And that’s exactly the sign I need to keep trudging on.