Here’s my list from day 1 with a few notes:
Relaxing /nervousness - 14
9 tension in shoulders (one from working through my fear)
1 picking at my lip
1 tension in shoulders regarding proper upload of contest
3 at responding to a work email - this is filling me with recurring tension
Notes: Deep breathing, conscious relaxing of muscles are the techniques I used. Deep yogic vase breathing did the trick (eventually).
Anger - 8
1 an interruption when watching a show
1 reading about the successes of an industry competitor and starting to think they were unjustified
2 of a glitch preventing me from downloading a work thingy
1 general exasperation at slow internet
1 exasperation at slow internet for a photography contest entry
2 accounts of exasperation for a kitchen glitch
Notes: A surprising amount of anger issues regarding the internet. There was one instance of an internet glitch where I actually caught it before the fact. The only technique I used was willing it away - I refused to get angry. Worked well. Also this combats the “resource limited” mentality I have. The successes of others don’t rob you of your success - your successes come from buckling down and thinking about what’s in front of you, and if you look at others, be happy for them and learn from them without rancor.
1 article that needed writing and editing
1 opening the online files necessary to watch videos for a Coursera course
1 starting to write another article
Notes: I’m afraid of writing, that I knew. But this isn’t about finishing a task, it’s about adjusting that initial reaction so that instead of procrastinating, I face it by starting it. I didn’t finish either but I immediately started both when I felt that familiar fear and the urge to procrastinate rising. I’m also surprisingly fearful of looking at coursework for no reason. That fear dissipates the moment I open the necessary files - it’s just a couple of seconds that makes the world of difference.
That Gaping Hole
Guilt/“maybe I should’ve done otherwise" 7
4 People seeing I’m being lazy and not working even though I don’t need to be
2 times of feeling guilty for taking a nap
1 maybe I shouldn’t have followed up again with a work email
Notes: I blame my Asian parents for this one, haha. I feel like I should give a show of productivity even when I don’t have to. People who are well adjusted confident people don’t care - I should own my laziness. The ‘maybe I should have/shouldn’t have” over past events is constant. It’s already done and it’s in the past - move on.
Negative, pessimistic thinking - 7
3 opening my work email and thinking “what fresh hell awaits"
1 self image thing
1 thinking about the worst case scenario for a work thing
1 grumbling about the state of my industry
1 starting to get angry at what the majority of people think is popular on reedit
Notes: A lot of "railing against the majority” sentiments. Again, refusing to go down that path worked. One guy has a great exercise for the “what fresh hell awaits” email thing - imagine three things that would normally happen. Then imagine three absolutely ridiculously one in a million chance of good things. At the very least it makes you laugh thinking about how ridiculous it is, but at the same time how awesome it would be.