Day 1708

Day 1708 Record Keeping
Day 1680 Fixed Meditation (50 min = 10 min metta, 20 min vipassana, 10 min gratitude, 10 min mindful scrolling)
Day 1554 Writing (7, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1093 Exercise (30 min, walking
Day 834 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, back & back erector smash)
Day 144 Flossing (All teeth)

Ok sleep.

Day 1706

Day 1706 Record Keeping
Day 1678 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 1552 Writing (2, 20 min Pomodoros, research)
Day 1091 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 832 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 142 Flossing (DID NOT DO)

Good sleep. Amazing just how useless I’ve become with the addition of olympic lifts. I was definitely much less sore, but then suffered an almost total drain of willpower in the middle of doing some writing. I did do a lot more discussion of writing and reading of an amazing book on the writing process. And I did a lot of meditation today informally.

Day 1705

Day 1705 Record Keeping
Day 1677 Fixed Meditation (50 min = 10 min metta, 30 min vipassana, 10 min gratitude, 10 min scrolling)
Day 1551 Writing (5, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1090 Exercise (3X5 40/45 lb dumbell clean and jerk
Day 831 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, back, back erector, hamstring smash)
Day 141 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Much less sore today from olympic lifts.

Day 1704

Day 1704 Record Keeping
Day 1676 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 1550 Writing (6, 20 min Pomodoros, INCREDIBLY hard)
Day 1089 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 830 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 140 Flossing (DID NOT DO)
Day 122 Monday Groceries

Bad sleep. Tons of errands today. FANTASTIC, EPIC breakthrough in the writing process. For that alone I’m content at not having discharged most of my other habits.

Day 1700

Day 1700 Record Keeping
Day 1672 Fixed Meditation (1 hour = 10 min mindful scrolling, 50 min vipassana)
Day 1546 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1085 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 826 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 136 Flossing (All teeth)

Good sleep. Again, pretty useless today and ridiculously sore. Today is, however, the last day of my 90 Day No Beer Challenge. I’ll do a write up on it shortly.

Day 1699

Day 1699 Record Keeping
Day 1671 Fixed Meditation (1 hour = 10 min metta, 40 min vipassana, 10 min mindful scrolling)
Day 1545 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 1084 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 825 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 135 Flossing (All teeth)

Good sleep. Absolutely useless today and insanely sore. Which is to be expected due to starting a lifting routine.

Day 1698

Day 1698 Record Keeping
Day 1670 Fixed Meditation (50 min = 10 min metta, 30 min vipassana, 10 min mindful scrolling)
Day 1544 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1083 Exercise (3X5 40 lb dumbbell clean and press
Day 824 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, back, back erector smash)
Day 134 Flossing (All teeth)

Good sleep. Really wiped out from the olympic lifting.

Day 1697 & Horror and Vipassana

Day 1697 Record Keeping
Day 1669 Fixed Meditation (3 hours Vipassana while watching horror show)
Day 1543 Writing (6, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1082 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 823 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, back, back erector, and shoulder smash, hip stretch)
Day 133 Flossing (All teeth)
Day 121 Monday Groceries

Good sleep. Really depleted and tired today for some reason. Maybe it’s the cold weather…and my lack of warm clothes.

Horror and Vipassana
Over the course of my meditations I’ve tried to practice it in real world situations. But what i’ve found is a good half step is to practice during movies - especially ones designed to draw out tension and awkwardness.

Over the weekend I got sucked into watching The Haunting of Hill House, a Netflix horror series praised for being really good.

I hate horror. I get scared really easily, I get spooked, and usually can’t really sleep well afterwards.

But while using Vipassana to keep a firm hold over my emotions, I was able to not be scared, but more importantly, actually enjoy the series.

In addition to navigating the intensity (I’m not claiming this series was intense, just that movies are designed to cause emotional ups and downs), it was a great challenge with regards to duration. I practice for three episodes today - an hour, then a break, then 2 hours at length. That’s pretty good, and definitely something I think I would have struggled with before.

The fact that I was able to enjoy it is also a great example of finding things that I tend to shirk away from, and using it as an object of meditation. The only way is through, as some meditators say!

Day 1694

Day 1694 Record Keeping
Day 1666 Fixed Meditation (10 min, tantra, vipassana, gratitude, metta)
Day 1540 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1079 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 820 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 130 Flossing (All teeth)

Good sleep. Very depressed and depleted today.

Day 1693

Day 1693 Record Keeping
Day 1665 Fixed Meditation (40 min = 10 min metta, 10 min vipassana, 10 min mindful scrolling)
Day 1539 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1078 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 819 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 129 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Lots of errands - and super sore.

Day 1692

Day 1692 Record Keeping
Day 1664 Fixed Meditation (30 min = 10 min gratitude, 1o min tantra, 10 min mindful scrolling)
Day 1538 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1077 Exercise (DID NOT DO
Day 818 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 128 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Lots and lots of errands. Constantly depressed throughout the day.

Day 1691

Day 1691 Record Keeping
Day 1663 Fixed Meditation (45 min = 15 min metta, 15 min vipassana, 15 min gratitude)
Day 1537 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 1076 Exercise (3X5 35/40 lb dumbbell clean and press
Day 817 Mobility/Stretching (15 min back & shoulder smash, hip stretch)
Day 127 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Decided to finally add weights since I have access to a small gym through my apartment complex. I wanted to do a hard, olympic style, whole body lift to start out with. I settled on a clean and press. It’s hard - I haven’t done olympic style lifts since high school. But it definitely took a lot out of me and felt good.

Later I looked through Becoming a Supple Leopard to add different mobilizations. The shoulder smash was a good addition because I know I’ll have problems with the pressing aspect of the lift. But then I found detailed descriptions of proper form for all of the olympic lifts - this book really just keeps giving!

I’m highly prone to injury and muscle tweaking - reading about the lift and the associated mobilizations made me think I might actually be ahead of the injury prevention game this time around.

Day 1690 & New Negative Formulation for Eating

Day 1690 Record Keeping
Day 1662 Fixed Meditation (45 min = 15 min metta, 15 min selfing, 15 min vipassana)
Day 1536 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 1075 Exercise (45 min = 15 min cycling, 15 min walking, 15 min elliptical)

Day 816 Mobility/Stretching (15 min back & back erector smash, hip stretch)
Day 126 Flossing (All teeth)
Day 120 Monday Groceries

Ok sleep. Lots of errands in the morning

New Negative Formulation for Eating

Today I went to the store to do groceries, felt depleted, and when Lydia suggested we stop and get tacos, I just didn’t have the will to say no. We’re pretty good at eating right during the week if we are at home, but during the weekends or when we’re out, we are pretty lax at controlling our urges.

I am currently doing a 90 day no beer challenge (which I intend to write more about later). The project involves counting the number of times urges arise - it uses mindfulness, click training, ritual, and curiosity together to map out the terrain of removing an urge. It’s been going flawlessly, but yesterday I opened the fridge, and right in front of me at the end of the day was a beer. I had almost gotten through the entire day without an urge, but at the very end I was smacked with a strong urge to drink a beer.

I got pissed. I’m close to the end of my 90 days, and I just want the urges to be gone (more to get the full map of the fading of the habit than anything else). However today, upon recalling the scene, I realized that at no point was it possible that I’d actually drink that beer.

That’s amazing.

But what caused that assumption of perfect behavior? I think a big part of the construction of the challenge was the focus on one level further off from the behavior; Instead I’m focusing on urges.

Drawing a frame and distancing oneself from situations is a big part of control in therapy - from anger to food. Even if it’s just an imagined visualization, the distancing pushes you on the outside of the forceful urges that have you acting before thinking. And that got me thinking - why couldn’t I apply this whole method to clean up my eating and take it to the next level?

I usually construct the behavior of eating as “eat right” - and so I’ve initiated a habit, either of doing just or making a weekly meal prep. But in this case it’s more of “choose to eat right and not eat bad”. That’s closer to what click training does - you train an animal to make the right decision rather than do the bad thing. And curiosity holds the line until you get a full topography of the loss of a bad habit, resulting in a locked in behavior.

I still think that having a day where I get all my groceries is a good thing. I also still think having a day where I randomize my dinners is good. It forces a state of affairs where I don’t think at all about my eating choices during most of the week. But that extra bit - the tricky bit where you’re at a restaurant with a friend and you say, screw it, I’m out anyway, why not order a pizza - that’s hard. If anything, it’s more similar to vices you want to get rid of, like smoking, or cutting out beer.

Day 1687

Day 1687 Record Keeping
Day 1659 Fixed Meditation (10 min, vipassana)
Day 1533 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1072 Exercise (DID NOT DO)

Day 813 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
Day 123 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Lots of errands, decided to take the day off from any exercise due to a bad calf spasm/cramp.

Day 1686

Day 1686 Record Keeping
Day 1658 Fixed Meditation (tantra and gratitude)
Day 1532 Writing (3, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1071 Exercise (1 hour, walking in a park)

Day 812 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, foot smash and stretch, achilles work)
Day 122 Flossing (All teeth)

Ok sleep. Very difficult writing work, walked in a park. Walking outdoors just makes me feel incredibly good.

Day 1685

Day 1685 Record Keeping
Day 1657 Fixed Meditation (10 min, metta, 10 min tantra, 10 min selfing, 10 vipassana)
Day 1531 Writing (3, 13 min Pomodoros)
Day 1070 Exercise (40 min, walking outside)

Day 811 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, foot smash and stretch, achilles work)
Day 121 Flossing (All teeth)

Bad sleep. Better! Amazing meditation.