Today’s reading dealt with the fear of failure and problems with success. Often our issues with success tend to lead to self-sabotaging of any goal, and I have noticed this in particular on many occasions with my own psychology.
The exercise was to write about 3 instances in which I achieved success but this success caused problems for me.
This was interesting because, like before, each of these instances caused the same physical reaction - a clenching of the throat, the beginnings of anger - and the description of how I felt kept on recurring throughout each experience. I felt like all my sacrifices had been in vain, and I felt extreme bitterness.
That analysis is not something I would have ever thought - I never thought it would the feelings and emotions and recurring thoughts would be the same across disparate experiences.
Like the previous exercise, there were no additional directions. But I do like this - I feel like I’m delving into weak points of myself that I’ve never really confronted head-on before, and I’m very curious to see where this goes.